Thursday 1 January 2015

Olas V WBA The Two Daves Xmas Special


Football at xmas is great, gets us out the house and away from the endless repeats on TV, some though are timeless and i must admit to being a big fan of the 2 Ronnie’s and Morecambe & Wise, and to that end I submitted a script to WHUTV for what I think could be a winner on their unloved and unwatched TV Channel. Basically it starts with DS & DG reading West Ham news,

DG “it’s been announced today that West Ham manager Sam Allardyce is to be offered a new contract”
DS “EE have said he can have 600 minutes and unlimited texts and data”
DG “The pentagon announced that Osama Bin Laden was buried in a West Ham shirt”
DS “The spokesman said it was to ensure he stayed at the bottom”
DG “A burglary was recently committed at West Ham’s ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen”
DS “The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet”
DG “and finally Thousands of fans were left disappointed at not receiving tickets for the rugby world cup at the Olympic Stadium”
DS “to soften the blow they were told that they can have 10 each for West Hams opening fixture at the Stadium when they move in”

Next they cut to short sketch set in a cash converter, where DS is the shop owner and DG is the Customer,

DS “can I help you sir”
DG “Yeah, see that video over there, West Ham the golden years, how much is it?”
DS “That sir is £300”
DG “£300, are you Having a laugh, just for 1 video”
DS “Oh No Sir, just the video is a fiver, but for the Beta max player to play will cost you £295”.

The next sketch featured Dave Sullivan walking round the supermarket doing some shopping for Carlton Cole who was feeling Poorly, he bumps into Harry Redknapp while in the vegetable section, when Harry askes DS what he’s doing there, he replies, “Getting a bag of Potato’s for Carlton Cole” to which Harry walks of saying “Sounds like a fair swap to me”
Quickly followed by a scene at a game with DS and in the directors box
DS is watching West Ham from his usual seat but for some reason sat next to him this week is a man with a dog. West Ham is playing really badly on this particular day but every time they get possession the dog starts to bark with encouragement. In the 85th minute they get their first corner of the game and the dog goes absolutely mental. "Why does your dog do that?" asks the DS "I don't know, he's a West Ham fan, it's just what he's like" replies the owner. "So what does he do when we score?" DS asks. "Well I don't really know, I've only had him a year....."

Then we have DG and DS with Sam, DS is trying to get Sam to play football his way, Sam is having none of it, DS keeps telling him he playing all the wrong moves, but Sam comes back and says, “I’m playing all the right moves, just not in the right order”

Finally we get the big musical number with Sam singing his version of “Changing Man” By Paul Weller
Is happiness real or are you all jaded?
Can't you see i feel like a man been tainted
Numbed by the effect, aware of the muse
I like to touch myself before I light the fuse
I'm the changingman,
Built on shifting sand, yeah
I'm changingman
Waiting for the bang, As I light a bitter fuse
Song on loan, only ours to borrow
ours for today, but may be not tomorrow
Yea, all I see, the more I know
The more I know, the less you understand
I'm the changingman
Built on shifting sands
Yea
I'm a changingman
I'm waiting for the bang
To light a bitter fuse
Bigger part ahh, when my instincts act
A shot in the box, a long pass back, yea
More I see, more I know
The more I know, the less I understand you
I'm the changingman
Built on shifting sands
Yea
I'm a changingman
I' m waiting for the bang
To light a bitter fuse
And finally it’s a good night from me, and a goodnight from him.
Happy new year everyone, The good times are back.

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